Here are some new rhymes for those Maya users out there who like to battle their co-workers about who is better at their part of the pipline. Don’t pretend like you’re not one of those people.

I’ll planar map you
To the bottom of my shoe,
Leave your UV layout
Looking like a pile of poo

Better be on the lookout
For another job possibility
Cause I’m coming to visit
And clean up your topology

Normalize your UV’s
Before I clamp down your keys
Spline it
Refine it
Modify > freeze

Select plane
Modify > Make live,
My dynamics
will send you back to Maya 6.5